Narnia France

okay here is the final of chapter one....hope you enjoy!
it wouldnot let me post on my story topic!
Rated PG-14!!!! Please beware of violence!



The Fall of Mahohr

The battlefield was littered with crimson stains. Nagas had come to claim the last of the nine bowstrings, the one that would give Him the power to call to Him the most deadly force ever to walk Salathiel, the Sigrun.

Islora, daughter of Milendil, king of Mahohr, stood on the battlefield watching her father's courty graually fall to the evil Valinan Nagas. Her people were powerless against Nagas and His mob of terror inflicting creatures. Islora tried to locate her father among the numerous people of the battlefield. Instead she spotted (this is supposed to be in italics) Him.

He walked silently, His long, dark cloak dragging on the tall grasses of the battlefield. The rips in his bloodstained overcoat shuddered in the wind. He managed to mutilate evrything in His path, not discerning between His people and His enemies. He was sslowly working HIs way towards the small sepulche where the owstring was kept.

Islora deftly took an arrow from her quiver and swiftly leaned it against her bow. Her small but sturdy hands fingered theh string as she focused on her target. Satisfied she knew where to put the arrow, she lifted the bow to her front and pulled the string abckwards until it reached the corner of her mouth, tilting the bow slightly to prevent the arrow from falling to the side. She recalled her father's instruction, "just focus on the target and release". A second later she let her fingers fall from the string.

Her arrow flew swift and true, but failed to pierce Nagas' armor. Nagas felt the vobration of the arrow flying off of Him. He turned toward Islora, His dispicable form outlined against the darkening sky. Islora stood firm, jaw clenched, knowing that this would keep Him from obtaining the bowstring, if only for a moment.

Nagas wanted something more than to kill her. He knew she did not fear death. She was too unselfish, and Nagas was too cruel to just let her die. Instead He would cause her to wish death upon herself because of the suffering He would cause her. He made sure that Islora was looking at His face. Sure that she was, He purposely moved His eyes toward her father. He saw her eyes widen in underrstanding of His perfect plan.

As Nagas moved toward her father, Islora's mind tried to come up with some sort of a plan, some way to save her father. Islora's thoughts swirled, making the simple act of standing the most difficult. She stood paralyzed as Nagas gripped her father's neck, lifting him to Nagas' eye level, forcing Milendil to look into the poisonous eyes of the Valinan. Nagas' head slowly turned to look at Islora, to see her anguish, her hatred of Him. He smiled, though Islora could not see the act.




well folks, i have to go but i promise i will post more later. I hope you bawl on the next aprt because that is what i am trying to get people to do. i know that sounds mean, but hey if it makes you cry its good in my opinion!!

OMG!!
how cruel, evil, ruthless, evil, horrid, mean, Nagas! DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

he HAS to...of ill make him *takes out sword* lol

aww how sad...poor Islora!!
her dad CAnt die!!

UPDATE this masterpiece soon


Edité par will4ever le 18/06/2006 à 19:13

nagas is a meany!!!

Okay i posted this on the other one also, caus eit let me now, but here is the FINAL draught! LIke i said rated PG-14 for graphic violence!!



Chapter One:
The Fall of Mahohr
The batllefield was littered with crimson stains. Nagas had come to claim the last of the nine bowstrings, the one that would give Him that power to call to Him the most deadly force ever to walk Salathiel, the Sigrun.

Islora, daughter of King Milendil of Mahohr, stood on the battlefield watching her father's country graudually fall to the evil Valinan, Nagas. Her people were powerless against Nagas and His mob of terror inflicting creatures. Islora tried to locate her father among the numerous people of the battlefield. Istead she spotted Him.

He walked silently, His long, dark cloak dragging on the tall grasses of the battlefield. The rips in His bloodstained overcoat shuddered in the wind. He managed to mutilate everything in His path, not discerning between His own people and His enemies. He was slowly working His way toward the small sepulchre where the bowstring was kept.

Islora deftly took and arrow from her quiver and swiftly leaned it against her bow. Her small but sturdy hands fingered the string as she focused on her target, her stance revealing her past training. Satisfied she knew where to put the arrow, she lifted the bow to her front and pulled the string backwards to the corner of her mouth, tilting the bow slightly to prevent the arrow falling to the side. he recalled her father's instruction, "just focus on the target and release". A second later she let her fingers fall from the string.

Her arrow flew swrift and true, but failed to pierce Nagas' armor. Nagas felt the vibration of the arrow flying off of Him. He turned toward Islora, His dispicable form outlined against the darkening sky. Islora stood firm, jaw clenched, kowing that this would keep Him from obtaining the bowstring, if only for a moment.

Nagas wanted something more than to kill her. He knew she did not fear death. She was too unselfish, and Nagas was too cruel to just let her die. Instead He would cause her to wish death upon herself because of the torture He would cause her. He made sure that she was looking at His face. Sure that she was, He purposely moved His eyes toward her father, then back to her. He saw her eyes widen with understanding of His perfect plan.

As Nagas moved toward her father, Islora's mind tried to come up with some plan, some way to save her father. Islora's thoughts swirled, making the simple act of standing the most difficult. She stood paralyzed as Nagas gripped her father's neck and lifted him to Nagas' eye level, forcing Milendil to look into the poisonous eyes of the Valinan. Nagas' head turned slowly to look at Islora, to see her anguish, her hatred of Him. He smiled, though she could not see the act. Still looking at Islora's pale face, He loosened His grip on Milendil, allowing him to fall to the ground. As her father clawed at his throat, trying desperatley to catch his breath, Nagas whipped His bolo around Milendil's legs, making any type of escape impossible. Islora's vision seemed blurred, the ground around her spinning as she watched what happened next.

It seemed the whole abttlefield froze as Nagas drew His sword and knelt to see Milendil's expression just before He plunged the sword through his side. Nagas whispered something into Milendil's ear. Islora watched her father's jaw become tight, his whole body tense at the words. Nagas allowed a long pause waiting to see if Milendil would try and free himself from his bonds at Nagas' words. When Milendil did not move Nagas drew His sword. Islora's heart pounded in her chest. In one smooth motion Nagas shoved the sword through Milendil's side. The blood that flowed from the kings side only added to the massive pools already exsisting. A sob escaped Islora's lips as she fell to her knees in angiush, unable to gain control of the disabling feeling of loss. Her bow clattered to the weeds at her feet as she put her hands to her mouth, stiffling the sobs that threatened to suffocate her. But Nagas was not satisfied.

Islora cuaght some movement out of the corner of her eye. She lifted her eyes to see Nagas standing in front of her, staring down with a look of complete hatred in His eyes. Islora saw only the eyes of the Valinan, the rest of Nagas' face invisible from the outside world. Islora knew she was helpless, thought surely these were her last moments. But Nagas looked away, towards the heir of the throne of Mahohr, her brother.

Islora's head whirled once again. She knew Nagas' plan, had to think of something to save her brother. Then she completely understood Nagas' plan. Amras required a sacrifice for each victory Nagas acheived. Nagas would fail if He did not offer a sacrifice. Her brother would be that sacrifice. There was nothing she could do, but she could not let her brother be sacrificed to the One who had raised this evil man from the dead. Her heart told her to scream, to cry out in agony of her inevitable loss. Her head told her what she must do. Teaars streamed freely down her porcelain skin, blurring her vision as she reached to the ground for her bow.

Islora reached back to her quiver, felt her one remaining arrow. Her hands shaking, she took the arrow from her quiver and laid it against her bow. Her whole body shook, her legs felt as though they should crumble beneath her weight. As she drew the string, sights flashed in front of her eyes of the day her brother was born, of the time he had saved her from drowning on the Pargon river. She lowered her bow, her breathing stopped as the memories came, them being more than she could handle, knowing she would have no more. She took one last look at her brother, saw his head mercilessly pulled back, exposing his neck, Nagas ready to slaughter the boy. Her emotions went wild, some telling her to fly into rage at Nagas, some telling her what she knew she must do. She redrew the string, sobs racking her strudy body. Unable to watch the fate of her brother, she turned her head away, already having aimed the bow. Her chest heaved with her intermittent breathing. She relaxed her fingers.

The painful sound her brother made as the arrow struck his chest caused Islora to crumble to the ground. Her heart ached with the knowledge that she had killed her brother. She deserved to die, wanted to die. Islora's body sook with grief, with the shock of losing two people so close to her heart. Islora's heart felt the same pain as her brother, her heart had been torn. She reached out her hand to support herself, expecting to touch ground, but instead touched her father's body, still warm.

That was probably the saddest thing if read in a long long time!

holy-cow!
that's a long one, Ash!

IT'S THE AWESOMEST EVER!

yeh its good

thanks!
did it seem to you guys that Islora killed herself, or did it seem like she killed her rother well enough?